When I was in business school, I met Frances during my first week and was immediately smitten. I found every excuse to hang out with her. But we didn't start dating until November of 2003. I'm pretty sure I knew soon after that she was the one. We got engaged in June 2004 and then married in June 2005. I still remember friends who wondered, "Dude, you're going to be a banker in NYC. Why would you get tied down now?" Well, we're twenty years in and it has had it's ups and downs, but there's not a day where I don't wake up thankful for the family I have. Frances, Ryan and Riley are my everything.
Sunday, April 6, 2025
I Love Being A Husband and Dad
Friday, March 28, 2025
"You're So Hard On Me!"
It's not easy finding the balance of pushing a child hard without going too far. This past week, I went to far with Riley. We got into a heated discussion about his takeaway and why he's always losing the right path and finally he says "You're so hard on me!" It got me thinking and ultimately, I sent him this email:
I know I am hard on you… if you ever wonder why, Earl Woods, Tiger’s dad, once said “I make him practice, I push him, because I know what he’s capable of. I see the greatness in him that he doesn’t yet see in himself.”
Similarly, Venus / Serena Williams’ father said “I pushed them hard because I saw champions in them before they even held a racket right. You don’t get to greatness by being soft – you get there by knowing someone believes in you enough to demand it.”
Here’s the thing and if you don’t believe me, ask mom. I believed in your potential to be great long before you could break par or started winning tournaments. I still remember the first time I took you to the driving range in Arcadia. I may suck at golf, but I understand sports and I know that most people will never be able to hit a golf ball well while a select few have the innate talent to potentially be great. I could see that talent from the first ball you hit. I told mom that day that I wanted to get you started on golf. I will also never forget your first tournament. The day before, we practiced for 3-4 hours in the blazing sun. Ryan was crying because he wanted to go home but you sat there and hit 3’ putts over and over. I knew then that you had the discipline and grit to be a great golfer.
I am so proud of you. Not really because of the results (that’s for you to enjoy) but because of your process. Your willingness to learn, to practice the right way, to grind endlessly, and the desire to be great. You have a talent that few kids are blessed with. So then as a father, how can I help? You know I am terrible at golf. I can’t help you swing better. But I can help you understand and realize your potential to achieve greatness and that means being hard on you because only through challenge can you truly maximize your outcome. It’s why I push you to practice smarter, like working on your takeaway religiously. It’s why I push you to challenge yourself, not by hitting the shots you like, but rather hitting the shots you hate and think you’ll never use. It’s why I push you to build mental strength, by teaching you to find answers and to pull yourself up, not down.
Look, when you achieve your golf goals someday, 99.9% of it will be because of you. But that 0.1% I can help you on? It’s not by being your friend or telling you how amazing you are. It’s by extracting every last ounce of talent you have so that you leave nothing on the table when you’re done. It’s instilling that discipline – remember what we have on the wall – to do what you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do it.
So, you will get annoyed and you’ll get frustrated. But I won’t stop pushing. But just remember what your goals are and what you are capable of. Greatness. Just like Tiger. Just like Serena. Just like Venus. That’s what I’ve seen in you since day 1.
Love Dad.
Sunday, February 25, 2024
Not A Good Sports Week, LOL
After a three month hiatus because he didn't play for the school team this year, Ryan finally re-started soccer for his club team. And proceeded to tweak his hammy at his first practice and then somehow sprain his ankle in bed at night. So he's not sure when he'll play next...
Meanwhile, Riley came crashing back to earth today at his first tournament since his win a couple weeks ago and decided to shoot an 89. Oof.
Tuesday, February 20, 2024
"What The Hell?"
One of the boys' YouTube stars is Steven He, who's famous line is "What the hell?" So, it was ironic that at Riley's lesson yesterday, his coach Angel saw his backswing and could not stop saying "What the hell?" because it was so mangled. Thankfully we got it fixed up, but it was ugly to start!
Thursday, February 8, 2024
The Golf Grind
Riley won his first "big boy" golf tournament last weekend at Alondra Park shooting a 74 (+2) to win by a stroke, while also beating the 15-18 age group winner. But what I'm proudest of is how hard the boy grinds, day after day, hour after hour. Usually with his intructor and/or me and almost never with his friends, which would obviously be more fun.
Wednesday, January 31, 2024
Math Is Life
Ryan is taking pre-calculus this year. What he doesn't know is that I flamed out in college math, which is why I dropped out of the engineering school after freshman year. Everything up to Algebra II was a breeze. But pre-calc is starting to stretch my limits. I'm still able to gradually figure things out and thank god for all the math resources online but the day is coming when I'm going to have to tap out. Which will be a sad day for me but I guess that's what life is about - in everything, the hope is that our kids will eventually surpass you and achieve greater heights!
Tuesday, January 30, 2024
So... A Lot Has Happened In 12 Years
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Riley Taking His First Steps
A Few "Ryan-isms"
Ryan: No, thank you.
Teacher: Why not?
Ryan: I already have a lot of gifts underneath the Christmas tree
At the Yew Chung playground: Ryan and friends are driving their trikes, when one kid stops his trike for no reason in front of Ryan.
Ryan: Hey, what's the big idea? Beep. beep.
Ryan: You gotta be s--tting me!
Carl: Ryan, you get three gifts for Christmas. What do you want?
Ryan: A Lightning McQueen car, a bike and a Santa.
Carl: Why do you want a Santa?
Ryan: So he can bring me lots of gifts
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Poor Riley, Doesn't Get His Own Blog
Why are we moving to California? As much as I love New York, you can only take sirens waking up the kids, which happened tonight, so many times.
A Touching Moment
Monday, July 4, 2011
A Final July 4th in New York
At 9:30, I woke Ryan up and he walked out like a tired zombie and sat on the couch, and... crickets. The f%@#$*g fireworks were literally only visible in the 90 degrees of non-view that we had. For the next 5 minutes, I showed Ryan what he was missing on TV. After a few disinterested and groggy "yeahs", I let him go back to sleep.
I was literally depressed all night.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Haircuts

And can lead to outcomes like:
THE JAG:

Courtesy of Dad (June 2009)
AND EVERYONE'S FAVORITE ASIAN CUT, THE BOWL:

Courtesy of Grandma Chiou (December 2009)
So for all the newbie parents who want to achieve haircut nirvana:

(July 2010)
All you need to know are the magic words, "Meeska, Mousska, Mickey Mouse!":

Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Sleep
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Little Human
He seemed stunned and didn't know how to react. Until I told him he had broken the truck, at which point, he immediately burst into tears and ran for Mommy. On the one hand, it was really sad seeing his reaction because he loves that truck. On the other hand, it was really cool, because I think this was the first time he'd shown real emotion after realizing what had happened.
Silence of the Lambs
According to the sole witness, Ryan was peddling around on a tricycle and one of the kids decided to hitch a ride on the back. At some point, Ryan turned around and bit the kid in the face. I'm still trying to figure out why they're working Ryan like a mule at school, but I'll save that for the next parent-teacher conference.
I'm not sure what the first question you're supposed to ask is when a teacher tells you this. Frances' question was "Who was it?" I supposed that's not a bad one, although I think would have been "Is the victim alright?"
Friday, June 25, 2010
First Trip to Chelsea!
This excursion seemed to start off where our last one ended. As we approached the restaurant, I noticed Ryan keep scratching his a--. He said nothing was wrong, but then he kept scratching. Finally, we picked him up and... he'd soiled his pants with a nasty case of diarrhea. On the verge of heading home in defeat, I came through in the clutch and remembered the BuyBuyBaby nearby. 35 minutes later, with a pair of $4.99 sweats on his sore butt, we were seated at our booth.
Dinner was good but unmemorable. Afterwards, we decided to take a walk through Chelsea Market and it was awesome. I picked up some Ventresca at Buon Italia and then we hit People Pops, where Ryan and I shared an apricot / chamomile pop. He absolutely loved it and ate far more than his fair share.
On our way out, we happened on one of the pianos that are part of a really cool art project, Street Pianos NYC:

Ryan immediately hopped on and started banging away on the keys. Pretty soon a small crowd had gathered, as he seemed to play with such poise and determination. With much regret, we finally had to leave, but not before he did a little bow for his adoring fans. To top it all off, as we hit 10th Ave, we bumped into Sunny Anderson, Food Network show host, who asked us whether he was the little boy she'd just seen playing the piano. Admittedly, in the world of NY celebrities, this is a pretty C or D list encounter, but it was still pretty cool.
To top off the evening, we walked up to the High Line park. If you haven't gone up there, it is amazing and one of the more successful urban beautification projects I've ever seen. Ryan went crazy running around the park and climbing the benches and other structures. Finally exhausted, we all went home for some well deserved R&R.
There are days I wish Frances and I had more alone time, but this wasn't one of them. It's a good life to live in NYC and have time to explore with loved ones and I'll miss it someday if I ever move away from here.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Am I a Bad Father?
Tonight, I retaliated and bit him back. On the arm, like a mother lion might do to an overly rambunctious cub. Not enough to create teeth marks, just enough to startle.
Anyways, he cried like a banshee. I think he was just shocked that I would do that to him. Frances was shocked also. If you ask me, I think he deserved it. But let's put it too a vote...
Sunday, June 20, 2010
1st Days at Camp Claremont
The "big event" during the first couple weeks of preschool is "separation", where the child successfully / fails to free themselves from their caregiver during class. We were really worried about this process because Ryan is a big mama's boy. Well... we had nothing to worry about - three days into camp and he's basically running around on his own and doesn't even give Frances a second look.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Little Manhattan
When Frances and I moved to New York, we watched one of the cutest movies I've ever seen, "Little Manhattan." It's a "rom-com" about a 10 3/4 year old kid living in the Upper West Side who falls in love with an 11 year old girl. Yeah, yeah, I know, it sounds stupid, yet it's kind of endearing.
But what really stuck with me is that the kid gets around the city on a little scooter. I can't even explain why, but it just seemed so cool and ever since Ryan was born, I've waited for the day that I can get him a scooter so he too can roam the UWS.
That day is here. A long-belated birthday gift from Christine, we finally got Ryan's scooter and he absolutely loves it. It took him about 15 minutes to figure out and now he can't stop motoring around on it. Ladies on the UWS, watch out!
Unfortunately, I can't let Ryan watch the movie. He refuses to put on his helmet and only does so when I tell him all the kids with scooters wear helmets. Except, Gabe in the movie does not. You know how people complain that smoking in movies sets a bad example? Maybe I should write the director and tell him he's setting a bad example for Ryan, riding all recklessly without a helmet
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Strawberry Picking
Ryan's favorite fruit is strawberries. And June is the peak of strawberry season, so I thought it would be fun to go pick strawberries.
Anyways, we got there and he really had no interest in picking strawberries. When I realized strawberries grow on low-lying plants, which required me to squat and dig through thorny weeds to find the strawberries, I really had no interest either.
He did delight in chasing after the tractor, feeding the donkey and harassing the rabbits.
Make Up Your D--n Mind!
When Ryan was younger, we used to take him to this Korean noodle joint where a cheery grandma makes hand-pulled noodles. We called it "po po mian" or Grandma's noodles and he loved it. Every weekend he'd ask for "po po mian". One time, we even sat down at another place in K-town and Ryan started crying because he wanted to go to "po po mian". So we had to get up from our seats, walk out of restaurant and go across the street to his noodle place.
During the last couple months, we started introducing new types of noodles to him, one of which is Ramen. And he loves it also.
All you non-parents are sitting there saying, that's great. He's an awesome eater. But we're not done with the story yet.
Tonight, he said he wanted "po po mian", so we got in the car to go to K-town. Halfway there, he says he doesn't want this, but instead wants Ramen. So, we go to the Ramen joint instead. We order and as soon as the food comes, he starts whining that it's not "po po mian". He ended up eating 5 bites and then going on a hunger strike.
Seriously dude. Make a decision and stick with it.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
My Son is a Fob...
For those of you who either want to mock me and my son or who are curious what Chinese "gangsta" rap sounds like, you can easily find these videos on here or here.
Hopefully, he picks up some other fobbish tendencies, like studying really hard and becoming a doctor.
So who's fault is this? Let me see... I was born in Kansas and went to high school with 2 other Chinese people. Frances lived in Taiwan until she was 8 and grew up in Arcadia, California. Next question please.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Happy 2nd Birthday, Little Guy!
We celebrated Ryan's 2nd today. While his first birthday party was pretty low key with family, we had to go a little all-out this time around because we're now part of the birthday party circuit. Since all the kids in our circle of friends have had amazing parties (soccer theme, transportation museum, circus theme, petting zoo), we had to do something nice as well. So we had a theme (pirates) designed by our very own party planner. I'm not sure Ryan really got it, but he seemed to have a good time.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Taiwan, Part II
This time, Ryan was out of the belly. And frankly, I'm not sure Taiwan was ready for him. This is an actual quote from my grandmother: "It was so great to see you guys. Ok, why don't you guys come back in a couple years when Ryan is more mature and behaves a little better." Ok, I guess he was a little terror, due to a combination of jet lag and unfamiliarity to anyone. But, it really did make me incredibly emotional when he did open up on a few occasions and hug my grandparents while laying big, slobbery kisses on them.
Oh yeah, I love this picture. He was obsessed with this penguin statue at a bookstore:
Monday, February 22, 2010
In at Preschool a.k.a. Welcome to the Rat Race
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Every Asian Kid Eventually Gets a Bowl Cut
But, there is a catch. The catch is she needs to do things her own way. So, inevitably, we'll pick him up and he'll be wearing his diaper in a funky position or she'll mention that she fed him some random food that we asked her not to. On the most recent visit, Ryan's hair was apparently too long and annoying her, so she took matters into her own hands. More accurately, she took her scissors into her own hands... Except, I think she had a couple drinks before she actually cut his hair.
Anyways, I still love you Mom and so does Ryan.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008
We're Back
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Ryan's Born
By the way, the little one's name is not Hayden. Parentals all hated it. For reasons that cannot be discussed on a semi-public forum. Ryan it is.
Ryan Christopher Chiou. Born March 22nd, 2008. 7lbs, 3 ozs and 20 inches long.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Baby Formerly Known as Boo
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Birds and the Bees
Valentine's Day
- Roasted branzino
- Gemelli tossed with garlic, basil and cherry tomatoes
- Roasted white asparagus
- Strawberry triffle
I also picked up a chocolate cherry loaf from Bouchon at lunch time. Dark, rich chocolate laced with perfectly tart cherries, and a little bread to fill the gaps. That was my only gift to Frances. Some would say that was unromantic. But trust me, an 8 month pregnant woman will take this over roses any day.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The Name Game
No one is naming their kid Edipo, or "He of the swollen feet." What is that, some Asian fetish? No one is going to be naming their kid Moyolehuani, or "The enamored one." No one will ever be enamored with that name. It sucks, no matter what country you are from. Unless you are of Aztec descent, in which case I apologize profusely.
By the way, in 2006 Moyolehuani was the 17,848 most popular name. Number 18,439 in 2007. So, why did it make a list of 10,000 names? Aren't there 8,438 better names that should have made it into the book first?
Then you've got the parents who name their kids Lankesh, a Hindu demon king. Why would anyone name their kid after a demon king? Lesson for parents... naming your team mascot after a demon is good. Blue Devils, for example, are cool, even if anyone not from Duke hates them. Naming your kid after one is not.
Note to the editor. Cut the crappy names. No one wants to use them. I'll pay more for a book with relevant names. Quality, not quantity.
End rant.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Parenting Class
On the first day, each couple had to introduce themselves. One of the wives said she and her husband were married in 2006. The husband quickly spoke up and corrected his wife, chiding her that they had been married in 2005. I saw the wife seething, which I assumed was because she didn't like being embarassed in class. 5 minutes later, the husband stood up and offered an apology for the class, because sure enough, they had been married in 2006. That's unfortunate for the husband. What's worse than being dumb? Being dumb and not knowing it.
During the second class, the husbands and wives split up and were asked to come up with what the were scared about during this process. The wives had a very thoughtful list. Clearly, they were taking this seriously. The husbands also took this very seriously. We wanted to know the following:
1) What if my baby is dumb?
2) What if my baby is ugly?
3) What if my wife doesn't lose all her weight?
I truly was only worried about whether Frances and I will ever find "alone" time with each other again. Needless to say, I had to maintain my "cool" factor and didn't speak up.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Taiwan Trip (12/21 - 1/04)
Taiwan was great. We were really worried that Frances couldn't travel with her stomach but everything worked out well. The seats were uncomfortable, but given her small frame, she fit in snugly, big belly and all.
While there, her belly really took a turn for the better. Must have been all the fantastic food we ate. We hit Shilin Night Market and some old favorites from Frances' younger days. I would say she gained a good 6 - 7 pounds out there.
I came back inspired after the trip. Since then, I've really dived back into cooking dinner each night, relishing our trips to Flushing to pick up whatever veggies and meats we need for the week. We haven't had to have take-out during the week this year.
And for the poor Upper Westsiders who think Ollie's is good Chinese food, I'm sorry. It's not good. The name is a dead giveaway. It's bad enough when Americanized Chinese restaurants give themselves authentic sounding names like "Golden Dragon" and then disappoint with their Chef's Specialty of Beef and Broccoli or some other lame dish. But calling your restaurant Ollie's? That's not even trying.
*6/11/2010 Postscript - I was right. Ollie's sucks. They are closing down one by one.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Baby Shopping
Today's topic is the stroller. I remember growing up with an umbrella stroller, one of those really rickety ones that cost under $20. And I grew up to be a reasonably normal adult. So, for the past year, I've mocked the Upper Westsiders for their obsession with the Bugaboo. For the uninitiated, please see here: God's Gift to Baby Gear.
Yes, the Bugaboo is outrageously priced and there's clearly a "show and tell" factor, but I've come to accept its greatness. It's maneuverability is unparalleled and in NYC, maneuverability is key. So, even if 95% of the babies who have a Bugaboo eventually become spoiled brats, I'm willing to take the risk.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Baby Boo is Kicking!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Heard on the Street (57th and Lex to be exact)
To DM's credit, they have put in an inordinate amount of thought to make this experience as comfortable as possible. For the moms-to-be, there are snacks and drinks to tame growling stomachs. And for the men? A flat screen tv tuned to the NFL and plush leather armchairs. This prompted one excited dad-to-be to exclaim:
Maternity clothes shopping is AWESOME!
I concur.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
No More Midnight Snacks!
The only news of note is that our doctor called Frances fat. Ok, maybe Dr. Wong wasn't that crude, but she did say that Frances should watch her weight gain. She's currently at 112.5. This means no more late night bowls of ramen or soup. And we'll have to cut back on ice cream. Pretty depressing, if you ask me.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
I Am a Good Husband
Monday, October 8, 2007
So, Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want...
Therein lies the challenge. I can't pre-empt the craving by buying a pie beforehand because never in a million years would I have guessed that she would want peach pie on October 7th, 2008. I couldn't buy it in real-time because the craving didn't hit until all the bakeries were closed. And if I had gone and bought it for tonight's dinner, the craving was already gone.
For all you fathers-to-be who have experienced this, don't feel like a failure. Sometimes, the whims of a pregnant woman can get even the best of us.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Mosey on Out
After a weekend full of packing and four days of unpacking, we're finally settled into our new home. It's quite relieving to actually have some space to move around.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Things are looking good
First Post
About 6 weeks ago, Frances started complaining a lot about being hungry and tired all the time, and getting really cranky. Now, those of you who know her are probably sitting there thinking, 'Isn't she always hungry?', but this was on a scale I'd never seen before. We thought it was just a side effect of her coming off the pill recently and that the symptoms would disappear when her hormonal cycle normalized again.
4 weeks later, the situation wasn't getting any better, so not knowing what else to do, we took an EPT at home, really just to make sure she wasn't pregnant. Then, the first test we took came back positive... and the second... and the third for good measure. For what it's worth, the $40+ we spent on the 3 tests will end up costing more than the rest of her pregnancy ($25 co-pay and nothing else).
A few days later, we went to the ob/gyn, where they drew blood to test for hCG. The next day, the doctor called Frances back and said we should come to the office the next day. Naturally, I feared the worst when Frances told me and she kept me in suspense until we met up for dinner that night, but Lily Wong (our doc) just wanted to let us know that Frances was 10 weeks pregnant based on her hCG levels. At our next visit, we finally saw the baby for the first time on the sonogram.
Sonogram from 8/23/2007 (10 weeks)
"I'm about 3 centimeters here"
Sonogram from 9/7/2007 (12.5 weeks)
"I have a big belly, just like mom and dad!"